I don’t know if many of you have been in this situation but trust me it’s WEIRD. When your close friend starts dating someone new and wants you to meet him/her, it’s something you can’t really title or label (at least for me). When I meet a friend’s new partner, all I remember is what my friend has told me about this person. One thing about us girls is that we talk about everything. IN DETAIL. So when you’re meeting her new boyfriend, it’s like “Hey I know everything about you and you may know a lot about me too but let’s pretend that’s not the case and introduce ourselves anyway?” Yes. That’s how it goes for me. Here are some tips for surviving the “introduction”.
Start with a clean slate
If your friend has told you 100 things about this individual, FORGET IT ALL. What you don’t know is that your friend is providing only one perspective, and in no way should his/her words be an image of the whole person. What we don’t realize is that everything we hear from our friends is subconsciously creating biases and impressions in our minds. If we go with a pre-set impression and find that it does not match with the person in front of us, that is bound to result in discrepancies and irritation. So wipe that slate clean and go meet this person without any prejudices!
You’re NOT third wheeling
For me, the biggest and most awkward fear is that I’m going to be a third wheel, or a kebab mein haddi if you will. But it’s important to realize that this is not the case. If you friend has voluntarily called you to meet his/her bae, it’s obvious that both of them know you will be there. they will NOT start talking lovey-dovey nonsense in front of you (if they’re mature enough). Put that fear aside and go hang out with them as friends. If they’re sensible enough they will involve you in such a way that you forget they’re a couple and just think of them as your friends.
Don’t bring up stuff from the past
This point is pretty crucial and must be adhered to at all times. You do not really know for sure everything that your friend has told her new boyfriend. So don’t assume things and start joking about exes and random guys who she’s had crushes on. The mood can drop from joyful to cold and disappointing within seconds. Pssst helpful tip: Before the meeting, you can ask your friend to brief you about the topics you must definitely steer clear of. This will ensure you stay safe from your friend’s wrath and everyone stays happy.!
Last but not the least, DO NOT fawn over your friend’s new girl/guy. They are not yours to have. They are at max going to be your friend. Do not cross the line over into the danger zone and mess with people’s lives. If you like the person a lot then that’s great but keep it at a platonic level. Don’t start fantasizing and dreaming about having them around your arm one day. Respect boundaries and respect your friends.