You swear you’ll always keep in touch, and you’ll never let your friendship diminish. After all, you’ve been through the ups and downs of adolescence together, shared everything with each other, and always been support systems for each other. You have so many memories together : funny ones, good ones, embarrassing ones, and plain weird ones. But things inevitably change when you don’t live in the same place, and you have to navigate life without your best friend at your side.
You try every means of communication
You coordinate and decide on a time you’ll talk, which is a task unto itself. Then you finally Skype each other, which can be divided into 35 minutes of screaming “HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME I CAN’T SEE YOU WAIT LET ME GET MY EARPHONES”, 20 minutes of poor internet connection, and 10 minutes of making ugly faces at each other. You constantly tag each other on Instagram, whether it’s in jokes, memories or places you want to visit together. You’ve even used Google Hangouts, which you thought only your mom used anymore. You’ve used Whatsapp calling, Skype videos and are basically all over each other’s social media. From Skype movie dates to talking on Whatsapp and texting on Facebook at the same time, you’ve done it all.
Birthdays are difficult
You miss being there on their birthday, and turning up at their doorstep with a cake at midnight, being able to spend time with them and actually being able to give them something. Birthdays become an exercise in creativity now, as you try to come up with a gift that you can parcel, and if they live in a different country, you become skilled at making videos. There’s always that nagging question in your mind : What do I gift them next year? You want to make it special, but you consider just sending an Amazon soap package for a moment. But when you see their incredulity and happiness, you feel proud, and all the hassle is worth it.
Keeping in touch takes effort
The process of drifting apart is as easy as it is scary. Since you aren’t actively involved in each other’s lives anymore and have separate lives, friend circles, and interests, it becomes difficult to be a part of each other’s daily lives, and talk about everything like you used to. Sometimes, you go without talking for months, and days pass between texts. Often, you’re too tired to listen to them, or share things about your life. Sometimes, the timing just doesn’t work out. It takes a real and sustained effort to maintain the friendship and communicate effectively. You soon learn not to be upset about unanswered texts and unshared secrets because you realize that your friendship is larger than all that.
You value each other a lot more
The thought of having to go through life without your best friend at your side fills you with panic sometimes. The idea of not seeing them for years is dreadful, and sometimes you miss them so much it hurts. You wish you could do everything together, and you keep reliving all those memories – the birthdays, the fights, the craziness. But you realize just how important it is to have that person in your life who knows you inside out, and who’s been there for you throughout. And that is why you will defeat the odds, and stay friends forever.