The movies industry has been through some crazy times in these past two years. This pandemic and social distancing have the theatres shut down and consequently, the movie industry is bleeding money. But it seems that all is not lost. Releases like No Time To Die and Spider-Man: No Way Home have solidified the fact that movies can still make money in these bleak times. But it is not only the good releases that have been suffering because of the pandemic. The other side of this is that the bad movies that everyone expected to fail have been delayed. So we made a list of 10 upcoming movies that are destined to fail big time.
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets Of Dumbledore
Fans were excited for the Fantastic Beasts series when it was first announced because it promised to delve deep into the history of Dumbledore. But then, the first movie took a hard left turn by focusing too much on the beasts and not enough on Dumbledore and his relationships. Still, it was a fun ride all the same and we got snippets of a young Dumbledore so it was not all wasted effort. Then Crimes of Grindlewald came out with Jhonny Depp in the lead as the titular villain and things became even worse for the franchise.
Depp might have played his part exceptionally well but Grindlewald’s blood pact with Dumbledore prohibited his direct involvement. Moreover, Jhonny Depp garnered some negative press and was forced to step down from the role for the third movie titled The Secrets of Dumbledore. This drove a wedge between the audience. Some believed that this was a great move by the studio as Mads Mikelson replaced Depp others thought that no one could play Grindlewald but Depp. Add to this the fact that Crimes of Grindlewald made only $654 million on the box office and you soon realize that things are not looking good for The Secrets of Dumbledore.
Ambulance
Ambulance is a story about two brothers who are forced into performing an elaborate heist to collect funds for the treatment of their dying mother. The movie has Jake Gyllenhall in the lead and Michael Bay is directing this feature so we can expect big explosions and unrealistic stunts. But there is more, like all heist movies something goes invariably wrong in this heist too and the brothers are forced to steal an ambulance to get away from the police. To make matters worse the ambulance is already occupied by a heart patient who is on the verge of collapse. You think it has too much going on, wait till you hear the rest.
This movie is supposed to be about action and emotion but we argue that it does not know what it wants to be. Michael bay certainly has proficiency in making things go boom but he is less adept at making our eyes tear up. Everything about this movie screams emotion yet the promotional material is nothing but edgy action., What are you trying to be Ambulance? Do you know yourself? Our argument is that it doesn’t and that is exactly why the movie will fail.
Uncharted
Never could have we imagined that Nathan Drake coming to the big screen would be anything other than a massive event. But here we are on the cusp of the release date and there is no chatter in the industry about this high-profile release. Part of the reason for this is the lackluster marketing for the movie and the long-drawn development process that the movie has been through. There is also the fact that fans already know Nathan Drake and have a grip on his origin from the games so what point is there in doing another origin story?
The only thing mildly interesting about the movie is Tom Holland playing Nathan Drake. But even he has not been very vocal about his role. He even commented that the way he approached the role was a “mistake” so why should we have any faith in the movie? All in all, it seems pretty obvious that the movie may not do so well upon its release.
Moonfall
Moonfall‘s plot seems like a bad interpretation of the plot of Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. It is a race against time to stop aliens from crashing the moon into the earth. Although it may seem compelling on paper, there is still the fact that modern audiences have matured beyond their years due to the pandemic and look for a little more nuance in movies than just mindless action and artificial stakes. We all know that the earth can never be destroyed in such a movie and hence the plot has all the mystery of a glass bottle. It is highly unlikely that Moonfall would be anything but a forgettable experience.
The Lost City
What do you get when you put Sandara Bullock, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, and Daniel Radcliffe on a jungle set and ask them to act as if they are in Jumanji: The Next Level? Well, you get The Lost City, a cringe-inducing sausage fest that will have you pointing out poorly executed movie cliches faster than you can say “I do not want to go to the theatre”. Don’t get us wrong, we enjoy the typical Disney adventure but Paramount is not very good at capturing that magic. We would be surprised if this movie is anything but terribly mediocre.
Mario: The Animated Movie
There have been no video game movies that have been successful in the classic sense of the word. No matter how many loyal fans watch these movies they can never capture the wonder we felt when we first picked up the controller and hit start. So guess our surprise when we heard that Universal would be making a Mario movie. Now, we may enjoy video game parodies featuring Jack Black, but there is something about having Chris Pratt play Mario that does not sit right with us.
Mario is an everyman who works as a plumber and goes to save Peach because no one in the kingdom steps up. But Pratt is a superstar at this point. He does not have the same anonymity he had back during the release of Guardians of The Galaxy Volume 1. So we think it is highly improbable that the movie would be able to capture the tone it seems to be going for.
Samaritan
Samaritan is a movie that has a somewhat compelling premise but fails in every other aspect of what makes a superhero movie in 2022. The movie is supposed to follow a superhero who is presumed dead but is still alive somewhere. That kind of plot has some charm to it but fails to deliver anything besides inquisitiveness. Simply put, the movie has no lure for the audiences, Sylvester Stallon no longer has the star power needed to attract fans and the superhero genre is already oversaturated to the point of absurdity. So why would anyone watch a new movie from the lone franchise with no promises for the future?
Morbius
With Jared Leto taking the lead in SPUMC’s Morbius fans have expected things to take a fascinatingly horrific turn. But there is a problem with the project. This movie claims to be a superhero movie but has a tone that is unmistakably that of a horror experience. We cannot fault the director for making this decision because Morbius isn’t exactly the most famous of Marvel characters. However, the movie will have to do something extraordinary to retain the audience’s interest.
Bullet Train
This seems like a passion project by Sony. Everything in the movie seems to be going right. It has an action-packed premise, a studded roster of actors, an amazing director, and an exceptional setting. Sony has even put in $90 million into the production of the movie. But therein lies the problem. The movie has set to see a lot of marketing effort put behind it and unless this is rectified soon it will surely end in failure and loss for the studio.
Death On The Nile
Agatha Christie was a brilliant writer and her story Death On The Nile can work as a wonderful source for a movie adaptation but there is some question as to the casting choice of the studio. Armie Hammer might be a great actor but recent accusations of sexual abuse have put his future in the state of flux. These allegations are sure to affect the reception of this movie and the studio might have to pay for sticking to their casting choices in the future.
So these are the upcoming movies that are destined to fail according to us. Let’s see how many of these prove us wrong.
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