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Breaking Up With Your Phone

A lot of us have issues with our phones. Honestly think about it, do you or anyone you know claim to be completely and utterly happy with your phone? If yes, then good for you! Wait another few months and let me know if your answer changes. I have problems with my phone all the time. I’ve had so many issues that I’ve reached the point of giving up and just going with it, like many of us do when a relationship turns sour but we have nowhere else to go. Now, it’s important to know that your phone doesn’t just break in one go. It takes its sweet time, plays with your heart and mind before it finally takes the plunge. Given below are the main stages of breaking up with your phone. These have been given in terms of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief during terminal illness.

Stage 1: Denial

This stage starts when you first find out that your phone has a problem. Maybe it’s become slow, maybe it’s freezing every few minutes, maybe its speaker isn’t working or maybe it’s just not switching on. This usually occurs a good 6-8 months after you buy your phone. Most of the time you cannot believe that it’s actually happening. You think it’s just playing around and it will be fine once it’s charged and rebooted. But alas, it’s not all better, it’s just the beginning.

 

Stage 2: Anger

Once you realize that rebooting and charging your phone isn’t really helping, you start getting angry. Your once cherished and frequently caressed phone now becomes a rock that you throw around in frustration. This stage is characterized with frequent phone tapping, shaking and slamming. We are often overcome by our anger to such a degree that we fail to think logically. We feel that by slapping the phone on our palm, something will magically change and it will start working again.

Stage 3: Bargaining

The realization that your phone may actually be busted leads to bargaining. Once it finally seeps into your head that this phone is going to disappoint you, you start begging with the phone, with God, with everyone you meet. You start saying things like, “just work for another month and then I’ll get you fixed in the fancy shop, I promise!” or “if you open this text and let me reply to it without freezing, I’ll let you go”. These are of course false promises as every time your phone does work for a few minutes, you get entranced by it and forget all the stress it was giving you a few minutes ago.

Stage 4: Depression

In this stage, you’re often seen crying, sobbing, and hiding your face from the world. Looking at your phone with tears rolling down your cheeks, and asking “why me” is very common in this phase. Your friends come, not to cheer you up, but to laugh in your face and then give you suggestions on which phone to buy next. They have debates in front of you about Iphones and their features. Your parents ask you, “What happened, why are you so sad these days, not even texting like you always do”. How would they know, you can’t text because your phone broke your heart.

Stage 5: Acceptance

Good job, you’ve successfully reached this stage. This signifies that you have accepted that your phone is not a very “good” device and you either need to pay a lot to get it fixed or just buy a new one. It’s painful to reach this stage, but when you do, you are filled with a sense of calmness. Your attitude is one of “I don’t care anymore”. You even start looking at other options and finally start asking your tech savvy friends about the latest options in the market.

 

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