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I Scream, You Scream, We Scream at Ice Cream

Some of our fondest memories revolve around grabbing crisp cones with grubby little fingers and slurping on creamy pleasure.  The finger-licking delightful flavour danced on our tongues as our hearts let out a scream of unadulterated joy. Wait, did I say unadulterated? Did I say creamy? The following facts about the most loved dessert in the world will chill you to the bone.

 

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It has been found that Unilever which owns companies such as Wall’s and Magnum recently sought permission to use the blood of an ocean pout, an eel-like creature in a diet range of frozen fruit ices.

Balancing our diet with such gory additives isn’t a very pleasant option. Earlier, ice creams were created using pig fat or lard, now they are thankfully substituted by vegetable oils. It’s too early for gratitude-this coats the tongue with a thick layer of oil. Choking on an oil spill is now a reality.

For all those seafood buffs, here’s another fishy fact- stabilisers used in ice creams are derived from seaweed. I’ll have sushi, please.

Surprisingly, Maybelline and Magnum use the same ingredients. Oh, and so do Ariel and Tide. This crisis seems too hard to tide over. The biggest culprit in this dish hides in the flavouring. Vain vanilla, sweet strawberry and palatable pineapple have some gagging tricks up their sleeve.

Peperonal, the artificial flavouring used to substitute for expensive vanilla bean is a chemical used to kill lice. Lousy. It’s better to drink shampoos and hair conditioners. Benzyl acetate is the chemical used to taste like strawberry. A nitrate solvent, it causes vomiting and diarrhoea.

This isn’t the last straw though; similar reactionary forces compete with each other in the battleground of our bodies. Ethyl acetate, used as pineapple flavour, is a cleaner for leather and textiles.

 

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Here’s another greasy fact: artificial banana flavouring is an oil paint solvent. Slipping on a banana peel seems a better option.

All these appalling facts place a pall of gloom over our sweet tooth, ready to take it for an extraction. Nevertheless, take heart and forget that ice-cream’s high cholesterol content will lead to heart disease and stroke. Forget that its high saturated fat content will bless you with the figure of a potato.

Gelato and home-made ice-cream can be equally tasteful. Just take heavy whipping cream and add powdered sugar and cocoa powder to it. Freeze it for a few hours. A gobsmacking delicacy will soon adorn your fridge. If you have appetite for more, add fresh fruit, preferably fleshy fruit like bananas, chikoos and mangoes to churn out fruit freezes. A little more effort is all that is required.

Eat smart and healthy. I’ll still have a cookie.

 

 

 

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