*The one thing I feared was to have moments so beautiful that they might be cherished, however, vulnerable too.*
We did come across such a moment. When everything was just so extremely beautiful and for what we thought, it couldn’t get any better, life decided to surprise us. It did get better. So much so, that for once, I could have thought it was a dream. It was somewhere in October that he had just called me up and asked me to come downstairs. Protesting did not work quite well and so I did as I had been asked to. I rushed down the stairs as soon as I could. I got into the car and before I could have said anything, I was bloated upon, being told not to utter a word. The next thing I knew, I was blindfolded.
“You know Ish, blindfolding people in the dark does not really make sense.”
I told him.
“Do you ever do what you’re told? Aanya, stay shut for a while.”
“But why? And where are we going?”
“God, do you understand English?”
“Ha! Funny that you’re asking me that.”
“Funny? It seems funny to you? Well, it doesn’t sound funny to me. Will you care to shut up?”
“What if I don’t?”
“Then probably I’m shutting up.”
None of us uttered a word after that. He plugged in some music and well, poured out the memories from those speakers. Thousands of words could mean so much, a hundred songs could have been said to be a part of us but that one song that brought in beautiful memories from the very beginning meant so much more than words.
That voice and those words, well, were the most beautiful words I had ever heard. Voice, that of his own. The song, the first romantic ever that he had completed, as per what I have been told all these years.
That song brought back memories of the very first day and the music it had in store. The memories of stories we’d read and then their aftermaths. That song brought back the memory of our ambitions of doing something extremely big. To be glad, we had.
A few minutes later, he pulled off from the driveway and stopped the car. As a matter of fact, I still did not utter a word. As I heard his side of the door open and him walk out, soon did he open that of mine. I would have done it, for that cliche, I hate but just to obey the strict orders, I stayed as calm as a mummy!
I walked out, we walked a little further and then was the time when I could know what it felt like to open my eyes, again.
To my great surprise, had he asked me not to utter a word, I couldn’t. As I looked at what I saw, I was taken aback. The one dream that I had had ever since I was a little child, was fulfilled that night.
Stars, yes I had seen them before but that sight was beautiful. So much so, that I could have looked upto it for as long as I wished. However it weren’t the stars that left me awestruck. What did was, the one little thing I had wanted to see all my life and I had but just not as beautiful as I wished to. FIREFLIES.
There were a hundred of them. I could tell. They were so beautiful. I was all lost into another world when a voice broke that spell.
“So, is it now that you can say you love me? I’ve heard you say that you’re falling in love. I’ve heard you say that you are in love. For the one last part of that sentence, I wish to be completed for years, have I waited this long.”
I couldn’t have said anything. That was when I realised that hugs still meant a lot. To place a cherry on the top, I gave him a kiss too.
He knew what I meant. That was enough. We stayed there the entire night, sharing stories from the past, talking of the future and trying to understand how present had become that beautiful to us. In no time, it began to rain. As fast as we could, we rushed back to the car and got inside, wet. For the next few minutes, there followed silence. As an obvious happening, he asked me why I had gone to that place where I didn’t speak, again. To that, I didn’t have an answer. We had had fun times each and every moment of the day. But there were particular nights to happen when we’d share lives, in its true sense. It was one of those. As he asked a few more times, I finally gave him the answer. Kissing under the rain and in a night that beautiful can be a dream for many. We lived that. Then followed the obvious.
“So that’s how a first kiss feels like. I’m glad I had mine to experience with you.”
“Was this really the first kiss of your life?”
We both laughed. We had both been together for six long years, that had become a thing between us. It felt good to play that over and over again.
Next thing we knew, it was the sun breaking through the clouds. Morning had arrived. We drove back home in silence. Nothing was said. As we reached upstairs, we hugged each other a little longer than usual and went to sleep. It was a perfect Sunday.
From the next morning, we began to realise how happy we were and soon we realised, that life couldn’t be bestowing endless blessings on us. Sooner than we realised, life gave us the wreck.
A few friends were to come over that evening. As we were all indulged in each of our happiness, two of the guys were there in the balcony with their beer glasses. For what I had needed, I don’t remember. But for some reason, I went out. Overhearing them was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Insights to the past had brought me to question the present. The only fear that I had had seemed to be converting to reality. The fear of the trust being broken. The fear of being fooled once again. It all seemed to be coming true.
I did not say a word until the party was over. They were all gone and he had no idea of who had been talking what about us. He had no idea that I had overheard them. But I wished to know the truth. While cleaning up, I started talking.
Soon it went from talking to shouting to fighting.
“So, another prey or was I the first one to test your skills to fool someone?”
“What, on Earth am I supposed to infer when I hear that *WE* started as a game?”
I shouted. He followed.
“A game? Are you out of your mind? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
I took a pause and spoke calmly.
“Few years back, in college, did you not have this conversation with Abhishek that we were a gamble, nothing serious but just a hit?”
All that I got as an answer was silence. I waited long enough to be upset.
“So it is true. What the hell do you think of yourself? What the hell am I supposed to feel now? Six years Ish, six years. We have been together that long. We have been living together for a year and a half. What am I supposed to do now?”
“You should trust me. You should know that since its been that long, it isn’t a game anymore. The bet is over. It was over years ago. I do love you now.”
“Since when? Last night? You talk of love? That is hilarious to me now. Does your brain even precept the word trust?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean Aanya? I do love you. I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. All of that ended as soon as it had started.”
“Do you even know how it feels like to have lived something for so many years and then getting to know that it was all based on a lie? When we started, I knew I didn’t love you as deep as the word love is but I was honest. I knew that I did feel something and it meant a lot to me. I was honest with you. I never hid anything from you. You knew each and every bloody thing about me. So did I think I knew about you.”
“You did. You still do. Aanya you always have.”
“That has no meaning left in it now.”
We were both shouting at the top of our lungs. I was heartbroken and I wanted to know that it really was over. Something inside me kept telling me that whatever might come, I just didn’t want to let go of him. I couldn’t. I did not want that we grow apart and end what we have preserved and cherished for six years.
He was saying something that I stopped paying attention to, however I caught up with him soon.
“….and only because that one or two weeks were something that we spent the whole of them together, I began to feel more of what I already did Aanya. I did. I don’t……”
The rest of the sentence, he couldn’t finish for I didn’t want him to. I had just leapt over and hugged him. He hugged me back. We stayed there like that for a while in silence. While we were still there, I then started talking.
“Let’s just forget all of it. Be the way we were. Let’s just forget that something like that ever happened. I want to be with the person I know and that is you. I just want that there should be no more secrets between us, ever. We are best friends first Ish. Let’s be what we want to be.”
“We are it. We are what we want to be. There are no secrets between us. Trust me.”
“I do. God! I’m in love with you.”
We both smiled.