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5 Things That Happen When You’re A Girl Who Hates Shopping

For someone who borrows her brother’s old t-shirts and steals her mom’s jeans, I can safely say I hate shopping. I do not understand the point of it unless you’re in dire need of the product you’re buying. I will only buy clothes/shoes/underwear if my current ones are torn, damaged beyond repair, have been converted into dusting cloths, or have been donated without my knowledge. I fail to understand the point of buying things when you have a closet full, overflowing, brimming with stuff you neglect daily. My question is why add to that pile? Here are a few things that I face when I am forced to shop. See if you can relate!

“How can you NOT enjoy this?”

Yes, I’m frequently asked this very question. And ladies, I have my answer: Why would I enjoy buying things I don’t need, especially when it is being sold on the streets and I’m covered in a sheen of sweat? My question to you is, how can you ENJOY this? What is so fascinating about these items which nobody will even look at except for you that too for the first 3 days till you’re “over it” or it becomes “so last week”. I once tried to act like a typical girl and bought something on a trip with my friends- a wooden hand massager. Not so surprisingly, I have not used it once. See what peer pressure does to you? That’s 50 bucks down the drain, could’ve had some chicken momos with that, damn.

Bargaining woes

The thing about girls and shopping is that bargaining is part of the experience. Your shopping is successful only if you make a vendor curse you under his/her breath. Now, mind you, bargaining is a skill which takes a lot of practice. Bargaining is usually kept for street shopping. The way I imagine it is that girls wake up, have a big breakfast, chug some cold coffee then go out into the streets and start screaming at shopkeepers. Sometimes watching my friends bargain is actually quite frightening. If I ever need to buy something (usually a gift for someone else), I end up laughing, watch the shopkeeper laugh with me, pay the amount he asked for, and walk away pathetically.

I don’t feel the energy

Have you ever noticed how girls squeal and shriek when they see something they like? Yes, I call it the “shoppingasm”, the pleasurable feeling that girls get when they shop. When my friends want to go shop, I tag along for moral support and just to chit chat with them about life. I don’t go for the act of shopping, I go for the people (my friends). I’ve noticed multiple times that girls who have something on their mind, be it a piece of clothing, a shoe, or jewelry that they want, they won’t stop until they get it. They never seem to get exhausted, after all, they’re women with a mission.

The domino effect

Ever seen dominos falling one after the other, in a sort of chain reaction? Yes well, that’s what girls do when they shop. They see one thing they like, then another, and another, and yet another. It never ends, one purchase leads to ten more. When you’re a girl who doesn’t like shopping and is forced to go with people who do, you will have to face this phenomenon. What do you do in such a situation you poor little thing? You follow them around moaning, screaming about food, complaining about your aching feet, and telling them they owe you for this horrendous experience.

“Your boyfriend will be one lucky guy”

Going by all the gender role stereotypes, I hear this line very often. When I assert my dislike for shopping, I’m told that my future boyfriend/husband will be lucky as he won’t have to deal with a shopping obsessed girl. Ya, okay, but what if he’s the shopaholic in the relationship? What am I going to do then? Watch him buy random things and run around stores with him? No thanks. Moreover, just because I dislike shopping doesn’t mean he’s lucky, I have a ton of skeletons in the closet. Hehe, just saying, sorry future husband!

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