After people get a divorce, many of them strive to stay on visiting terms with their exes. There are a few reasons why ex-partners decide to stay friends. While some decide to keep in touch with their exes, as they have a few more issues that should be resolved, others don’t let their former spouses go simply because they still have caring feelings toward them.
With no doubt, it is great if you and your ex are on good terms, especially if you have kids in common. However, no psychologist would tell you to stay close with your former spouse, and here is why:
It will be harder for you to make a fresh start
Being friends means spending a lot of time together. If you hang out with your ex regularly, it will be hard, if not impossible, for you to combat the feeling of guilt, regret, or whatever you have. In a nutshell, you are likely to look back at your past when you should better focus on both your present and future. After your split, both of you need some time to recover from heartache. And this will be more difficult if you rub shoulders with each other all the time.
Oftentimes, divorced people are not able to think clearly; therefore, they need some time to get their thoughts together so that they can make their life plan. And this is much easier to achieve when you don’t see your ex every single day.
You cannot control anybody’s heart
Divorced people usually strive to stay on visiting terms with their former spouses simply because they are not willing to end their relationships and start living their life without their exes too soon. They tend to wrongly assume that keeping in touch with their exes will help them cope with breakup stress more easily; however, they are so wrong.
It is obvious why so many people don’t let their exes go, but being on a friendly footing with them only complicates the situation, as it is impossible to forget about the feelings they have once had for their former husbands and wives if they continue to hang out with each other regularly. So, take into account that as soon as you start feeling well hanging out with your ex, you may get those butterflies in your stomach like you are lovers again.
Your former spouse may still have strong feelings for you
Even when two people complete their divorce apply online and agree to settle their issues amicably, it is not always a mutual decision. Oftentimes, some spouses dump their significant others and those who have been dumped usually strive to get back together with their exes. Of course, there may be different situations; however, it is not unusual that exes keep their hopes up to return their former partners’ love after they file for divorce online simply because they still have feelings for them. So, to protect each other’s feelings, it is better if you don’t go out together not even for a drink or two.
It may put your decision in doubt
After your Nevada legal divorce is finalized, from time to time, you may wonder about how things would go if you tried to fix your marriage. And staying friends with your former spouse will make you put your decision in doubt more often. What is done cannot be undone. So, instead of wasting your time on reflecting on what could happen, think about your plans for your future life without your ex in it.
It may cause much pain
Truth be told, very few will like watching their former significant others building new romantic relationships. If you and your ex are friends, it is obvious that you will know everything about each other, including the juicy details of your personal life. Getting to know that your ex has another affair might be painful, for a reason. Even if you no longer have feelings for this person, you will probably feel hurt knowing that your ex is doing much better than you do.
There is no silver lining in going out with your ex
It is not necessary to hang out with your former spouse. Even if you have kids, you don’t have to go out together. Truth be told, being close to someone you have once been in love with may play a low-down trick in the long run. Since staying friends with your ex is likely to bring unresolved questions back, you take the risk to get hurt again, and you don’t want that for sure.
It may hinder you from dating
After your marriage falls apart, it is important to take enough time to heal so that you can get back on track and live a normal life again. And if you decide to stay on visiting terms with your ex, you can say goodbye to your new relationships, as no one will like their partner hanging out with his or her former spouse. How will you explain to your new flame why you go out with your ex? This will only make your new lover think that you are not ready for a serious relationship yet. As painful as it is, you should let your ex go once for all. Maybe you are ambivalent about the decision to cut off all ties with your former spouse, but believe a bare word, it is a win-win for both parties.
Greg Semmit has years of experience working with different types of legal documents and writing about Family Law for educational purposes. Currently, he is working at OnlineDivorcer company, where he writing blog articles about divorce and divorce cases. In his free time, he likes roaming the streets of New York with his Olympus taking photos of the best spots in the city.