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23 Absolutely Illogical Things In Fifty Shades Of Grey

Writer: Aniket Aryan Gupta
Aniket Aryan Gupta
Apr 24, 2017
2 min read

Updated: 17 minutes ago

Though a worldwide phenomenon, Fifty Shades of Grey is far from being perfect or even great for that matter. Here we have compiled a list of 23 absolutely illogical things that happened in Fifty Shades of Grey:

Anastasia Steele. The girl "cums" like the speed of "The Flash".


Fifty Shades of Grey has deceived everyone about BDSM.

It isn't forced, abusive and coerced. Instead, it is about mutual respect, trust and something to spice things up.

Even though Ana has the worst self-esteem issues in the world, she refers to her alter ego as "inner goddess". How the hell?

She is virgin at the moment and a sex addict in 2 seconds. Damn, she is quick!

In the 21st century, how the hell you don't own a cell phone? Duh.

Moreover, a college student not owning a laptop. Baffling.

A hobbit from The Hobbit giving the middle finger while carrying a backpack.

Christian controls Ana's diet and sleep habits. Is she your partner or slave?

Christian has had sexual relations with his adopted mother's friend.

"Jeez" AND "Holy Moses" during Sex. What, who says that?

Ana gets 2 safe words and she still gets ignored by Christian.

Who wears pigtails now?

A person holding the blonde pigtails of a doll in a close-up shot.

And now for the biggest fantasy, girl lands up a job straight outta college. Damn, if it was so easy!

Ana does not have a UTI!

The vagina is called "my sex" by Ana.

And don't forget the fact that she calls Christian's man parts "his length".

Ana is giving perfect blow***s without any experience. That's talent, my friend!

A 20-year-old woman who gets wet from playing footsie has never masturbated? I mean, is she human?

Ana can't look Christian in the eyes. It's settled, she's a witch!

Fifty Shades of Grey is not literature, it is a commercial venture. Because sex sells! Duh, uh.

Ana is nothing more than a prostitute. She gets an Audi, Blackberry (We don't know what that means anymore), and finally, she gets a laptop. Nice!

This book teaches young women that being weak and submissive is sexy. Feminism talks just got heated!

Aurora from Sleeping Beauty in black and white with caption go fuck yourself.

Fifty Shades of Grey assumes that people who are into BDSM must have endured sexual or emotional abuse. It is a choice sometimes, otherwise, it is rape!

Now, for the best fact that this book is inspired by "TWILIGHT" Can we have two minutes silence?

Severus Snape from Harry Potter looking angry and gritting his teeth.
 
 
 

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